Raining Cats and Dogs (and Sometimes Birds)

Crankyjewishguy (CJG) doesn't know if you saw this story on the news the other day, but just four days into the new year and CJG thinks we can safely say it is going to be Number 1 on every list of the top ten weird news stories of 2011. In the little town of Beebe, Arkansas, on New Year's eve, 5,000 red-winged blackbirds suddenly dropped dead. Literally. That's right, they just fell out of the sky. People woke up to find dead birds littering the streets, sidewalks and lawns in a one square mile area. Wildlife officials have ruled out disease and poisoning and are focusing on three possible causes: a lightning strike, high altitude hail and New Year's Eve fireworks that may have stressed the birds to death. Whatever the cause, CJG would say this was not a good omen for the people of Beebe as they started the new year. On the Town of Beebe web site, Mayor Mike Robertson calls Beebe, "Your Dream Hometown." CJG would say...no, it's not.

Now, CJG doesn't think birds dying is funny; he loves birds, just like the guy in the picture below. But he does note the irony that they rained down on a town called Beebe. As if this weren't bad enough, a few days before the birds dropped dead, between 80,000 and 100,000 dead fish were found floating in the Arkansas River, which, you won't be surprised to learn, is also in Arkansas.

John James Audubon poses with two feathered friends.

Now, if CJG lived in Arkansas, which he doesn't because (a) he's Jewish, (b) he doesn't play the banjo, and (c) he despises NASCAR, he'd be giving serious thought to fleeing the state. Clearly, something is amiss in Arkansas and it isn't just Mike Huckabee.

In light of these twin disasters, CJG decided to visit the Arkansas Department of Tourism web site. As you may know from ads in various travel magazines, Arkansas bills itself as "The Natural State." Well, they certainly seem to have a lot of wildlife based on recent casualty statistics. And they sure make it easy to find since it's easier to see fish when they are on the water instead of in it and birds when they are on the ground instead of hiding in trees or flying at high altitude. CJG also checked out the official web site of the State of Arkansas and was interested to read that, "We proudly live up to our motto -- The Natural State -- by showcasing clear, clean lakes and magestic mountain ranges for exploration or relaxation." They also apparently like to live up to their reputation for being bad spellers. When he finishes writing this post, CJG is going to e-mail the Arkansas Department of Education, point out that "majestic" is spelled with a "j" and not a "g," and tell them they are embarrassing themselves. By the way, the Department of Tourism web site has an entire section called "Moving to Arkansas." CJG doesn't think so.

At least they spelled the name of their state right.