Ask Crankyjewishguy Vol.3: Patriots Lose to Jets: Get Over It!

Starting Sunday night, crankyjewishguy's (CJG) inbox was flooded with e-mails from shocked and distraught New England Patriots fans. This message, from Ned in Easton, Massachusetts, is fairly typical:

Dear CJG,
I was so sure the Patriots would be playing in Super Bowl XLV in Dallas, that I booked non-refundable flights for my family and a $1,000 a night hotel suite, also non-refundable, and I don't even have tickets to the game! I don't really care about the money, but I'm just not sure life is worth living after this devastating loss to the Jets. Why is God punishing us?
Losing It in Easton
P.S. Look how upset my son is.

Dear Losing It,
CJG would say "Lost It" is more like it. First, tell your son it's just a football game. Second, get some Neosporin for that nasty looking rash on his cheek. Third, you shouldn't be so presumptuous. Look, CJG was rooting for the Pats, too, but he's not losing any sleep over it. Hundreds of thousands of people in Haiti are still homeless a year after the earthquake. Thousands in Brazil have seen their towns destroyed by mudslides in recent days. An epic flood has inundated Australia. All over the world people are starving and suffering in ways you can't even imagine. And you're wallowing in self-pity over a football game? If so, then you deserve whatever punishment God is visiting on you at the moment.

P.S. CJG has several thousand dollars of Patriots Super Bowl XLV gear he's unloading at a deep discount, including a hundred of these. You interested? Your kid would love one. All sizes available, including XL (that's a 40 in case you are Roman Numeral impaired).