Ask Crankyjewishguy: Go Ahead, He Dares You

Because he is a font of knowledge on many subjects ranging from politics and rocket science to sex and household cleaning products (Lestoil for oily stains followed by a hot water wash), people within crankyjewishguy's (CJG) rectangle of friends often ask for his advice. (For some reason they refuse to form a circle.) And CJG is more than happy to give it. Now, readers of this blog can avail themselves of this opportunity, too, because today CJG announces a new, regular feature on his blog called, "Ask Crankyjewishguy." Readers are invited to submit their questions on any subject, except badminton, by e-mailing CJG at crankyjewishguy@gmail.com and CJG will answer some of them on the air. If he's not too busy reading the paper at Starbucks he may even answer two.

Today's question comes from Rachel in Weehawken, New Jersey who writes:

"In badminton, why do they call it a shuttlecock?"

OK, next question. Apparently, Rachel can't read. This one is from Mark in Boynton Beach, Florida.

"My 17 year-old son sits in front our 42-inch HDTV all day long playing violent video games like Call of Duty: Black Ops and Grand Theft Auto. He wears nothing but black, his hair is cut in a purple mohawk, he has about 80 body piercings and his arms, legs and neck are covered with grotesque tattoos. His room is decorated with posters of heavy metal bands and reeks constantly of pot smoke. He dropped out of high school, has no friends, is 6'3" tall and weighs 119 pounds, and refuses to get a job, bathe, or light the Hannukah candles. He lets his pet iguana run all over the house and I think he's stealing money from us. What should we do?"

Well, lucky for you, Mark, this one is right in CJG's wheelhouse and the answer is very simple. You need to go out and buy a 60-inch set. Your son can't possibly take full advantage of the amazing graphics in Black Ops on the puny 42-inch thing he's using now. CJG recommends the Panasonic.

The North American Green-Belted Shuttlecock.
 What else could you possibly call it?