Palm Trees, Blue Skies, Azure Waters: It Must be Wintertime in New England

It must be so nice being married to crankyjewishguy (CJG). Most mornings he rises early to get his son, who is also Mrs. CJG's son, up and out to school, so that Mrs. CJG can get her beauty rest. And, boy, is she beautiful after all that rest. Yesterday, when CJG got in his car, the outside temperature monitor reported that it was one degree below zero. CJG's friend, Joe, posted on his Facebook page that where he lives, about a mile away, it was zero. Why CJG doesn't move to the warmer side of town he'll never know.

The view outside CJG's kitchen window yesterday morning.

Now that it's nearly February, and seeing as how CJG is getting into his late 50s (despite looking more like 40 and acting more like 80), he's starting to think about life in a warmer climate. His younger son will be off to college in a couple of years, so anything is possible, especially given how rich CJG is getting off his blog. But where? And since Mr. and Mrs. CJG are very social people, what will life be like without all of their friends around?

Just to prove that CJG looks much younger than
 his years, he offers this self-portrait for your inspection.

CJG isn't especially keen on Florida for the simple reason that there are too many cranky jewish people there. CJG wants to stand out. But not so far out that he wants to be the only Jewish person on the Mississippi Gulf coast, for example. CJG loves the beach, but he fears even he would soon grow bored watching the waves for three straight months, only to be interrupted for an occasional game of Scrabble. CJG once went to Hawaii, to the island of Kauai to be precise, and that's a great place except that it's about 6,000 miles away and CJG doesn't want to have to find a new barber. Over the past couple of years, CJG has really come to love New Orleans (his older son goes to Harvard on St. Charles down there, otherwise known as Tulane University), and there's no shortage of things to do and great restaurants to eat at there. But, there's no beach nearby. How about Italy? CJG went there once, too, and he fantasizes about Italy the way Silvio Berlusconi...oh, never mind.

For now, it looks as if CJG is going to have to contend with a few more winters. But he's optimistic that a week from tomorrow, on Ground Hog Day, that varmint, who has his own web site by the way, is going to tunnel up through three feet of ice and snow, look around and demand a condo in Miami Beach because whether he sees his shadow or not, there's gonna' be at least ten more weeks of winter in these parts.