In light of recent news that the current captain of the
USS Enterprise produced and broadcast over the ship's internal television station system lewd, raunchy videos featuring simulated lesbian sex, anti-gay slurs and offensive comments about women, crankyjewishguy (CJG) wants to know if maybe, just maybe, we might be able to trim our defense budget just a wee bit. CJG is all for entertaining the troops who put their lives on the line for us, but maybe a subscription to
Netflix would be more appropriate and less expensive than movies produced in-house. It's nice to know that while this aircraft carrier, just one of eleven in the entire fleet, was deployed in the Middle East to support combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan, Captain Owen Honors (you can't make up names like that in stories like this), then second in command, now first, found the time for such leisurely pursuits. CJG's guess is that he logged the time as "building troop morale," or "Honors honors the troops." CJG would like to get a peek at the ship's log and maybe even review those video tapes for himself.
But, CJG's concerns go way beyond the terrible message this behavior sends. There are millions of Americans who may not immediately grasp the difference between the USS Enterprise and the Starship Enterprise and for that reason, Captain Honors has done a great disservice to the good men and women of Starfleet Command. Now, there's no doubt that Captain James T. Kirk had a thing for the ladies, but CJG defies anyone to point to a single instance when his conduct could be deemed inappropriate. And CJG has replayed every episode of
Star Trek in his head over the last three minutes and can summon not a single incident of anti-gay or homophobic behavior. Yet, now, Captain James T. Kirk, who served his galaxy so well, will forever be lumped together with Captain Owen Honors. This is terribly unfair to the Jewish people, too, since James Kirk was played by actor William Shatner, who is Jewish. Leonard Nimoy, who played Mr. Spock, is also Jewish, proving that while we may not control the media as Rick Sanchez thinks, we did, in the late 1960s, briefly control the galaxy. In any event, in an effort to minimize this travesty, CJG is urging that his huge international audience not confuse this man
 |
| The Honorable James T. Kirk |
with this man, who, quite frankly, doesn't look the least bit Jewish.
 |
| The dishonorable Owen Honors |
By the way, Captain Honors was relieved of his command yesterday. CJG is sure he will find gainful employment in the porn industry or, if he is allowed to remain in uniform, as a replacement for Alex of
The Village People.
No comments:
Post a Comment