Engine Explodes: Flight Lands "Without Incident"

As you may have read this morning, a Cathay Pacific Airbus made an emergency landing back in Singapore, from which it had departed about 45 minutes earlier, after an engine exploded and caught fire causing the plane to jerk violently. Readers of crankyjewishguy (CJG) know that flying is not one of his favorite activities and this is why. In this photo, taken aboard the plane as it prepared to make an emergency landing, you can see that they have stopped in the in-flight meal service and many people are not wearing their seat belts.

But what CJG really loved about the article about this near disaster, is that a spokesman for Cathay Pacific said that the plane landed "without incident." Really? CJG would say that landing "without incident" means landing (a) at your destination, not your airport of origin, (b) in street clothes, not life vests and (c) on board a plane in which one of the engines has not exploded in flight. Don't you think?

Esquire's Question of the Day

WARNING: Today's post contains adult language and graphic content that ay not be appropriate for Hasidic Jews.

Yesterday morning, crankyjewishguy (CJG) was at one of his favorite coffee shops (i.e. not a Starbucks) where they have a magazine rack filled with interesting magazines you can read while you drink your coffee (as opposed to Starbucks where they will sell you a copy of Howard Schultz's new book about Starbucks).

Anyway, they had the new issue of Esquire which had a major article on men's health that included the results of an extensive survey. Most of the questions were predictable, such as how often do you exercise, what do you eat, are you getting enough sleep and so on. But there was one question that really stuck out, so to speak, and it was a very simple one: can you see your penis? pretty direct, too.

But simple questions defy simple answers, despite the fact that 83% of respondents answered "yes." For example, this question could just as easily be about eye sight as body weight. Before CJG guy had cataract surgery last year, without his glasses he couldn't see his hands if he held them up in front of his face and his penis is half way down his body; well out of range. The question is also more complicated than it appears because it didn't specify whether the penis should be flaccid or erect, nor does it make allowances for size. CJG bets there are some heavy men who would have to answer "sometimes" to what appears to be a yes/no question. So, if these men overwhelmingly assumed an erect penis we may have a skewed picture of whether they have a weight problem. It also seems to CJG that the question -- can you see your penis -- cries out for multiple choice answers such as (a) yes, (b) no, (c) easily, (d) in brightly illuminated rooms or (e) when I look in the mirror.

If, as CJG assumes, Esquire was trying to get a handle on how many men have a weight problem, aren't there better ways to find out? Like asking: are you overweight? This is why CJG puts very little stock in articles that appear in Esquire.

P.S. For obvious reasons, today's post has no pictures.

Is Bush Piqued?

Hard to know if the reports are true, but a story is moving on various news wires that President G.W. Bush declined President Obama's invitation to join him at Ground Zero today because he feels Obama is taking a victory lap and did not give Bush sufficient credit for the bin Laden operation. First of all, as the text of Obama's announcement the other night makes clear, he credited the efforts of everyone involved over the past ten years; he didn't make it sound as if it all began on his inauguration day. Second, he was gracious enough not to note that after bin Laden escaped at Tora Bora Bush took his eye off the ball and gave low priority to the hunt for bin Laden as he pursued war in Iraq. Third, for the past two years plus the man has been living on a cul de sac in Houston. How much credit is he due? He wasn't "the decider" on this: Obama took the risk, made the gutsy call, and made the hunt for bin Laden a top priority after it languished for seven years under Bush. If you ask crankyjewishguy (CJG) the notion that Bush is piqued, if true, is outrageous. By asking Bush to share the stage so to speak at Ground Zero today, Obama was inviting him to a display of unity and to share in the moment. If Bush is such a small man that he feels dissed, then he deserves to be ignored.

My President

Crankyjewishguy (CJG) thinks it's been too long since the death of Osama bin Laden and a return to the really important business facing the country: proving that Barack Obama is (a) a modern-day Hitler, (b) born on some other planet and brought here by aliens to destroy the Earth, (c) a closet terrorist as John McCain and his running mate, what's her name, insinuated in the last campaign, (d) a weak-kneed Chicago liberal who doesn't have what it takes to be Commander-in-Chief.

As you can probably tell, CJG is kidding because he really thinks it's time for those who have spuriously attacked the president's loyalty, American-ness, mettle and toughness TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. And that's all CJG has to say today: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

This is a picture of MY president and if you are a United States citizen, LIKE HE IS, then he is YOUR president, too.