Mazel Tov, Miss Massachusetts!

A fan of crankyjewishguy's (CJG) in Tampa wrote him a couple of days ago to ask if he knew that a Jewish woman was in the running to be named the next Miss America this year, which would make her only the second Jewish Miss America in the 89-year history of The Miss America Pageant. (The first was Bess Myerson in 1945.) CJG knows a lot, though probably not as much as he thinks he does, and he didn't know this. So, naturally, despite a hugely demanding schedule, CJG spent the better part of a day getting up to speed.

The contestant is Loren Galler Rabinowitz, the reigning Miss Massachusetts. Since CJG lives in Massachusetts he is especially excited and if the Miss America Pageant conflicts with a New England Patriots playoff game he plans to watch the pageant. Not!

Loren Galler Rabinowitz, Miss Massachusetts,
 Harvard grad and nice Jewish girl.

Unfortunately, aside from being Jewish, there is little to distinguish Ms. Rabinowitz from the other 52 contestants. Fifty-two? Yes, CJG knows there are forty-nine states in the United States, he just refuses to count Alaska. But Miss District of Columbia, Miss Puerto Rico and Miss U.S. Virgin Islands each get a shot, too. (Take that Miss Guam.) Anyway, as CJG was saying, Ms. Rabinowitz is just your typical beauty pageant contestant: her parents are both physicians, her grandparents are Holocaust survivors, she's a world class competitive figure skater, an accomplished poet and a recent magna cum laude graduate of Harvard. (If she'd applied herself she no doubt could have graduated summa.) With a resume like that how can she hope to compete with the likes of Beth Dennison, Miss North Dakota, a former University of North Dakota (UND) dining service employee, UND grad, farm hand and nanny? Or Alyse Eady, a former Miss South Central Arkansas and the reigning Miss Arkansas, whose official bio includes this little item: she once met George W. Bush in the Oval Office. Wow. So did Tiger Woods and we all know how that turned out. Now, if she'd met Bill Clinton in the Oval Office that might have been worth mentioning because then we all could have had fun speculating about what went down during the meeting or, perhaps more to the point, who. But what could Miss Arkansas and W possibly have discussed during their little visit? Waterboarding? And did she wear that hat?

Alyse Eady, Miss Arkansas, and former
 advisor to President George W. Bush.

So, CJG is rooting for Loren Galler Rabinowitz to prevail over Alyse, Ashley, Kelsi, Kylie, Courtney, Brittany and Whitney (yes, they are all names of real contestants this year) and all the other shiksas in the running for the title of Miss America 2011. Let the swimsuit competition begin!