First, this: "Charlie Sheen Offers Some Advice to Lindsay Lohan." OMG! Can you imagine how bad things would have to be in your life to be getting advice from Charlie Sheen? This is like asking Mel Gibson for tips on reaching out to the Jewish community, or John Edwards for marital advice. Heaven help Lindsay Lohan.
Then there was, "Horse Visits Starbucks Drive-Thru." What the headline failed to note was that there was a rider on that 'thar horse; it didn't just wander in there by itself. The horse, no doubt, used the occasion to carry on a loud cell phone conversation. Oh, and this didn't happen in Manhattan or L.A. It was in Plano, Texas, of course.
"Egypt Leaders Found 'Off' Switch for Internet," said yesterday's New York Times about the five days during the recent uprising that the Egyptian government managed to shut down the entire Internet in that country. CJG never knew the Internet had an on-off switch. Where do you suppose they keep it? In Al Gore's house? Under Kim Il Jong's bouffant? And besides the Egyptians, who else knows where it is?
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| Believe it or not, this little switch controls the entire Internet. But where is it? |
CJG loved this one from a local web site: "Temperature Could Rise to 60 on Friday." Now, CJG knows that means nothing to many of you, but trust him, this is the best news in a long time because the winter snows that have piled up around here have remained frozen in place for weeks and are so high that everyone in these parts feels like a rat trapped in a maze...and there's no pulling up to the Starbuck's Drive-Thru on a horse drawn sleigh. Oh, then again, maybe there is.
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| Overhead view of CJG's neighborhood from space. If you look closely you'll find the on-off switch for the Internet. |
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