The Mark of a Man (or Woman)

It used to be that having a tattoo was the mark of a renegade, a World War II veteran, or someone who got really drunk at a fraternity party in Rhode Island. Now, having a tattoo is the ultimate mark of conformity (or of people with money to waste) since, it seems, just about everyone has one, or a hundred.

Take 18-year old Miley Cyrus who is famous for something, though crankyjewishguy (CJG) isn't quite sure what. Maybe for being in People magazine? Anyway, it's been reported that Cyrus just got her fifth tattoo, a dream catcher with four feathers, one feather for each of her apparently less talented siblings. For those who aren't as hip or as tuned into the spirit world as Miley Cyrus or CJG, a dream catcher is a Native American creation that looks something like this:

It catches dreams in that web at the top or, if you secure a sharp hook on it and throw it into a body of fresh water, large mouth bass. But CJG digresses. Cyrus's other tattoos include a heart and a "small cross" on her fingers (well, how big could it be if it's on her finger?), the word "love" on her ear (also, one presumes, in small letters), and the words "just breathe" on her rib cage. If she's going to be putting function reminders on her body parts, CJG can think of a great tattoo for her butt. Anyway, according to a friend of Cyrus's, all of Miley's tattoos "have a deep meaning to her." Aw, isn't that sweet? Cyrus sounds like a very, very deep person and getting deeper with each new tattoo. Soon she won't even be able to stand in the shallow end of the pool at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Professional athletes, of course, have tons of money and like to show us what rebels they are by tattooing their bodies to excess. CJG is waiting for the first pro athlete to step up and offer his body as a billboard for say Nike, and have the Nike logo not just on their sneakers, but on their forehead. In fact, CJG wonders if it's already been done. Can you see LeBron James with "Chick-fil-A" inked on his arm? Or Dwight Howard with a huge Budweiser tattoo on his shoulder? That would be awesome.

Tattoos have been quite fashionable for the past decade or so and it's frightening to think what all these people are going to look like in their 70s and 80s when their skin is sagging like a hammock. It's not going to be pretty.

Chris Anderson of the Denver Nuggets. As you may
 be able to tell, his nickname is "Bird."