CJG is Now Facebook Friends with God!

crankyjewishguy's (CJG) wife is pretty savvy about social networking and she is trying her best to drag CJG into the 21st century. She explained to him that to build an audience for a blog you have to create lots of links and cross-links and you have to learn to use Facebook. So, CJG immediately went on God's Facebook page and "friended" him (or "liked" him). Whatever. Now, CJG is hoping that God, who has like 4 billion Facebook friends, will "friend" or "like" him back. CJG is praying God isn't too selective. For those who don't know God (so to speak), this is his Facebook picture (you think he could have put on a shirt for the photo?):

Anyway, enough about God. Yesterday, CJG and his wife drove from San Juan to CJG's hometown of Aguadilla, Puerto Rico while the boys sat in the back seat and watched Jackass 2.5 on a laptop. After all, why would you fly all the way from Boston to Puerto Rico? To look at the scenery?

As in San Juan, CJG was disappointed in the reception he received upon arriving in the town of his birth after a 57 year absence. The bagel, lox and cream cheese reception never materialized. Even Gerard Depardieu got a warmer reception in The Return of Martin Guerre and that was after the locals figured out he wasn't Martin Guerre after all but an imposter. It's not that there weren't plenty of people in the streets for CJG's homecoming. There were. Unfortunately, all of them were in cars trying to get to one mall or the other. Though Aguadilla isn't much to look at from street level, CJG and his family are staying in a clifftop condo with a spectacular view of the ocean and beach below. This makes CJG very mellow, except that the neighbor with the adjoining rooftop patio has outdoor stereo speakers that play bad music all day long. CJG guy and his college age son spent a good part of the afternoon trying to figure out if they could take out the speakers with a few well placed fastballs.

Now, it didn't take more than five minutes on the beach for CJG to be reminded that no Jew can truly get away no matter how far he travels from home. At Crash Boat Beach, a surfing spot frequented by locals, but few tourists, CJG's older son immediately ran into two guys he knows, brothers, actually, and Jewish, of course, who attend college with him at Harvard on St. Charles, otherwise known as Tulane University. And once the parents started talking they discovered that three of them, out a possible four, attended Tufts University at the same time, CJG being the exception as he is both older than the others and attended a different and, according to the infallible U.S. News and World Report college rankings, slightly more prestigious institution of extremely higher learning. 

Crash Boat Beach without people, as CJG would have preferred it.

Now CJG can be very sociable if he tries, and he enjoys chance encounters as much as the next curmudgeon, but sometimes he just wants to get away from it all. So next year he's taking the family to the Falkland Islands in February. With his luck he'll be standing in a penguin rookery and Howie Finkel, his arch nemesis from junior high school, will walk up and give him a wedgie.