Justin Bieber Did What?

Can we come back to Herman Cain for a minute? Crankyjewishguy (CJG) is growing increasingly concerned that the Cain sexual harassment controversy is stealing much needed attention from a far more important issue -- whether 12 year-old Justin Bieber fathered a child with a star struck fan he invited backstage after one of his concerts. Not only is Bieber one the greatest artists of all time (and CJG isn't just talking music here, you can throw Monet, Shakespeare and Pee Wee Herman in there, too), but he's a future presidential candidate so this issue is more significant than your usual Inside Edition fodder. Bieber is also a job creator. (CJG knows Bieber is 17, so please, just go with it.)

Just call me "Dad."

NEWS FLASH: CJG just learned that Justin Bieber is never going to be president of the United States. He's Canadian. Too bad.

Nevertheless, how can the public be expected to pay proper attention to the Bieber controversy when the Cain affair is sucking up so much air? There's only so much of this "he said, she said, but the DNA doesn't lie" that the public can absorb at one time.

The details of the Bieber affair, as laid out in a law suit by Mariah Yeater, the woman in question, are, to put it mildly, interesting. Bieber, she claims, was a virgin and that the act, which occurred in the romantic setting of a bathroom, lasted thirty seconds. (No wonder it wasn't twins.) But CJG thinks it's just a wee bit curious that the biggest pop star on the planet needed to ask a complete stranger back stage in order to lose his innocence when women of all ages are probably offering to lend a hand.

Abstinence advocate and unwed
teenage mother Bristol Palin
and baby. Note boy scout in
background protecting her virtue.
Could that be Justin Bieber's baby?

Hopefully, the National Restaurant Association won't settle the Bieber case, too, because only in a courtroom will the truth come out. And when it does, CJG predicts it will be of absolutely no consequence.