It's For You. God Calling.

Today's topic, as it often is, is God's ironic sense of humor. Readers of crankyjewishguy (CJG) will recall that a few days ago he wrote about Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers who told reporters after Game 6 of the World Series that God told him he would hit a home run in the top of the tenth inning to give Texas the lead. CJG noted that what God neglected to tell Hamilton is that in the bottom of the eleventh he was going to have the Cardinals David Freese hit a walk off home run for the win, rendering Hamilton's homer an exercise in futility.

A young Josh Hamilton with
 his hitting instructor.

Today's "God is ironic" news comes from Marshalltown, Iowa where, last night, Michelle Bachmann told an enraptured audience passing around poisonous snakes that God, presumably the same one that fixes baseball games, was "calling" her to run for President. Now, CJG admits that's a hard call not to answer. When the phone rings and it's God, you take the call. But, again, God's ironic side is very much in evidence here because what he apparently neglected to tell Ms. Bachmann is that he also created 300 million Americans more qualified than she is for the job, including many of her GOP opponents and the fourteen-year old Metal Head in your family room who has been playing Wizards and Warlocks on the flat screen TV twenty hours a day for last six years.

Whenever CJG hears people say "God told me..." or "God called me..." he wonders, in the first instance, how anyone could be so presumptuous to think God would take time from his busy schedule to call them directly when Twitter and Facebook are readily available, and, in the second instance, that this person needs to call Verizon and get a cell phone plan with more free minutes. Look, if God were really speaking or calling people directly, surely he would have called CJG by now and revealed the meaning of life or given him some winning lottery ticket numbers.

Anyway, God is telling CJG it's time to go pick up his son at school so he has to sign off now. Oh, never mind, that was Mrs. CJG, not the voice of God. They sure do sound alike though.

P.S. Breaking news on another subject CJG cares deeply about, Linday Lohan. It seems Lindsay is going back to jail, not even stopping at "GO," for violating the terms of her probation. Honestly, what is this woman's problem?