Excuse Me. Is That Your Foot?

Believe crankyjewishguy (CJG) when he tells you he isn't pulling your leg about this story he read online last week. British Columbia, as you may know, is a spectacular place with magnificent coastlines, dramatic mountain peaks, and pure, crystal clear lakes. When CJG traveled there a few years back it reminded him of where he grew up in northern New Jersey.

But British Columbia has been plagued of late with a very bizarre form of pollution. Over the past four years, nine, yes nine, unattached human feet have washed up on British Columbia's shores, the latest one on a lakefront. This kind of stuff wouldn't even be news in New Jersey, but in bucolic British Columbia it's really out of the ordinary.

Daniel Day Lewis starred in the
 1989 film that foreshadowed
events in British Columbia.

The previous feet, all in running shoes, have washed up on ocean beaches. Six of them were determined to come from four individuals (meaning at least two pair of socks managed not to get separated in the laundry). The last one was in a hiking boot. But here's the kicker, if CJG can use that term: foul play isn't suspected in any of these cases. Really? Somehow, at least six people went for a run or a hike, became separated from their feet, and foul play isn't suspected? CJG wonders what kind of evidence in a rash of missing feet cases would lead investigators to believe all of these people either outran their own feet, or otherwise managed to become separated from their primary means of locomotion by natural means. (By the way, for a fabulous rendition of Carole King's smash hit, Do the Locomotion, click here. That's Slash, no pun intended, on guitar. And note the YouTube headline: "Carole King feat Slash.")

Now, CJG is no detective or forensic anthropologist, but it strikes him that if these feetless people were dead, chances are other part of their bodies would likely have turned up at some point, too. Really, what are the chances that six or seven people in British Columbia could lose their feet and not have other body parts running around somewhere (so to speak). On the other hand, if these people were still around surely someone at some point would have noticed and said to them, "hey, what happened to your foot?" Or in at least two cases, if CJG's math is right, "what happened to your feet? Forget them on the trail?" CJG would also be interested to know what brand of running shoes and hiking boots were involved so he can buy other brands.

Astute fans of the hit TV series Lost always knew
this scene was shot in British Columbia, not Hawaii.

This is truly a first rate mystery. Almost as mysterious as the whereabouts of Rick Perry's brain.